Monday, March 19, 2007

Wasted Time


I haven't seen my daughter yet. I have nothing to show but whatever basic needs she has I don't forget to bring it to them.

There is a lot occupying my mind and the mother of my daughter demands attention that I cannot give.

If she only knew...Perhaps she would understand...Or maybe not.

Who knows?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Time, Stupidity, & The Beginning of Boredom

I feel stupid. I do not know why and can't think of a proper reason to feel this way.

I think that it would be a while before I see my daughter. I'm too busy handling what people ask of me and I've neglected my own needs.

This sucks....

----Nothing Follows----

Sunday, March 04, 2007

SM Supersale (Because they got it all!!!)

Most people have never seen me splurge much. I tend to be very shrewd when it comes to money. I never really had much of it as a child so I never grew up with the notion that money is grown on trees.

Since I started working I always kept most of it but somehow they keep slipping from my bank account. (I think there is a hole somewhere in my wallet or there is something funny going on in the bank.)

That's besides the point, truth to tell, When I received my first paycheck, my priority was my daughter but as we all know due to a bad hospital incident on the 15th of December 2002, the fates have decided to let my biological family have all of it. I really did not feel much for losing the money but I would have hoped of at least leaving some for my daughter (Who is not actually mine in the eyes of jurisprudence.) in case they might have need of it.

That was the past but now since I was able to save again for myself, I splurged a little. 8 shirts, a pair of jeans and some knickers were involved in this conspiracy to contribute to the local economy. If you remember well, I was a bad dresser (Ask a certain number of women I used to date and you will have an idea.), perhaps not that bad but they think I really cared about how I look. Well, if this is the case, why would I suddenly spend on something I am not really into?

It is change my dear readers. I am in the process of changing, perhaps the next step to evolution as I continue to exist in this world. Enough of the odd wit that some people very much admire about me. I evolve to a better person and try to disconnect whatever dark past I had before and like the effect of the reset button, slowly change. I have started disentangling myself from certain social circles since they do nothing to contribute to my evolution. Past relationships, acquaintances, friends whom I have not had contact for the past decade have been eradicated from my weary mind. Soon enough, I will forget this present time and continue moving forward and starting anew.

I've been contemplating on striking west on my own to find a future but a certain little person is still in need of me (I hope). Once she finds a better father who will have a better relationship with her mother it will be the time for me to move on. (Hopefully within this first decade because either way....)

This sale was sort of a starting point (Excuse the shallow profundity of the reason) and I will make sure that by the first decade of this millennium people will vaguely remember the person that was.

Till next time then.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

...The First Quarter Ends!

This March would be the last month of the first quarter of the year.

Things have been progressing slowly; Seriously not as fast as I wanted it to be.

If you remember that this year's theme in my opinion is Change.

So, what has changed? What indeed? Hmmm....

I get to see my daughter a bit more regularly, I just got a not-so-noticeable pay increase, Dating at this day and age is not a priority and the mother of my daughter is civil but keeps on complaining about the lack of finances to support whatever luxuries she had when she was studying.

I try to keep her in the loop of whatever meager resources I have (Remember that 2GB iPod?). It would seem that I am still trying to keep a spark between us, or at least that is what everyone says.

Of course, I know without a proper compromise that we can both commit too we would be both playing the role of natural enemies till one of us becomes extinct. They say a that this platonic and very, very odd relationship is like treading very dangerous waters. Well, I'm sure it is but I am risk taker and since there is not much happening I am willing to share what I can to those in need.

She even mentioned that I need to buy a study desk for Erin. Well, as soon as I can afford it I don't see why I shouldn't. Erin's very bright and smart for her age but she is very shy in front of other people. It is very sweet but I certainly hope she gets over it as soon as she grows.

As always, I wish them the best of luck. If they are happy well, so am I.