Grrrr...

I filed for a 5 day sabbatical hoping that the trip to Pampanga would push through. Our host unfortunately had to pull out according to the people who were looking forward to it then *poof*

He had to go on a review. Oh well, no one can blame him.

Anyways, I took off on Sunday night with a friend and overnighted at her condo fixing her computer, catching up on stories of old.

I told the mother of my daughter that I'd meet them as soon as I got home. Now, all of a sudden she starts yakking up about why I don't see my daughter as often. Guess where this all started, A simple question about why I wasn't told of any activities my daughter has been doing to keep her busy this summer.

Oh god, here we go again....

Hurtful words were passed between messages, me the irresponsible one (Something I am always accused of) and her for not keeping up to speed of what's going on. I said simply that I am not there and I cannot keep asking questions about what is going on from their side as I have a lot of things going on all at the same time. Well, she typically looks down on me and spits at my alleged pitiful efforts to maintain whatever grasp I have as a father to my daughter. Then it ends, I simply kept my cool about the conversation and told her that if she think I am unfit why does she care enough to make it controversial. She responds with a different point, making sure she is not answering any of my questions directed at her. (Hey Nikki, thanks for toughening up this nut!)

As well as I know her she soon sends old messages I've sent her about not giving up (Blah, blah and the whole retinue) on them. Gee, when things get desperate they do try to make a point by digging up the past.

This crap has got to stop. If she wants me to be responsible and make my presence known to my daughter she needs to make it an effort. I've tried making an effort before but she refused. I am accused of never being there when years ago she told me that I was not supposed to have contact nor have rights to our daughter.

That was embarrassing then so I stopped. Now, she makes these demands like a nagging wife. This is exactly the reason I have lost faith in marriage, i don't think I would be able to put up what I have been through before and she expects me to be there?!??!?

*Sigh* I should have followed my policies when breaking up with women. If it ends, there should be no more discussions.

Tonight is going to be another sleepless night and when I wake up, I'll have a migraine from all this thinking.